Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Pittsburghese on TDA?

Learn Pittsburghese!I don't live in Pittsburgh, but I live close enough that I hear the dialect. For years, I've (lovingly) teased my wife when she said things like, "warsh," "pow (pile)," "pop (soda)," "acrost (across)"and so many other things that just come out. Well, I live in the area now, and I'm supposed to do as these Romans do here, so I've decided to convert the TDA Training site to... Pittsburghese! Did you know there was such a thing? No? Take a look!

...if you cannot understand the following exchange between Pittsburghers Don and Howard, you may want to learn a new language!

Howard: Hey Dawn,jeet jet?

Don: What?

Howard: I axst, jeet jet?

Don: Na, j’ew? Hauscome don’t we go dahn dahntahn fer a cut of Vinnie Pie.

Don't understand it? That's OK, I don't either - YET! To assist our readers in learning this dialect - check that - other language, I've decided to use this handy translator to convert one of your favorite posts into Pittsburghese.

From the original Making the Transition from Boxing to MMA Gloves:

Boxing gloves (esp. 16-ounce training gloves) tend to allow you to (unrealistically) hit harder to well-protected areas than you could realistically do without them, for example, a punch to the forehead is no problem, nor a jab to an elbow. In reality, both of those targets with a clenched fist would incapacitate the puncher, not the punchee. MMA gloves provide minimal protection for the hand, and don't really increase the likelihood of damage to the recipient, so they teach you to punch to better (softer) targets, or else!

Amazing, isn't it? Easy to read, understand, and learn from. Brilliant! Now, let's try the same text in the Pittsburghese!

Boxing gloves (esp. 16-unce training gloves) tend to allsow yinz to (unrealistically) hit harder to woll -protected areas than yinz could realistically do witout them, fer example, a punch to da ferehead is no problem, nor a jab to an elbow. In reality, both of dose targets wit a clenched fist would incapacitate da puncher, not da punchee. MMA gloves provide minimal protection fer da han, and don't rilly increase da likelihood of damage to da recipient, so they teach yinz to punch to better (softer) targets, or else!

Hard to understand? Did yinz get it? Well, I hope yinz alls have a great day and keep training!

For more Pittsburghese:


Patrick Parker said...

Wow, that dialect sounds (reads) a lot like a combination of south Mississippi and Cajun Louisiana Totally understandable, at least on the page. The main difference is we properly say, 'yall' for the plural you, whereas some of y'all damned yankees say stupid things like 'yinz.' But that's a pretty minor mistake on y'all's part.

Nathan Teodoro said...

I'm trying to adapt from Virginia to PA, and learning to appreciate it. Y'all's points, I mean yinz points are well-taken!

Blackbeltmama said...

Ha ha, "Did you eat yet?" I went to the Univ. of Pittsburgh and had to quickly learn the "language" out there. My favorite that I often teased my friends about was, "Yinz goin' dawn tawn?" (Are you all going downtown?"

And please, don't adapt. ACK! As an English teacher, the Pittsburgh dialect is a nightmare!